It's quiet here. Well, except for the chirping and cooing of the ten thousand birds I've accumulated over the past 3 months. But, aside from the bird noises, it's quiet. And it's been quiet for a while. Zeke went to test out his new school. He's there for FOUR WHOLE HOURS. That's a long time in my world. Usually I drop him off at 12:30, get home by 1, then leave to go back and get him by about 2:30. So, by the time I'm done catching my breath, it's time to get back in the car, basically. But today is different. Today I'm clock-watching. I'm nervous and jittery. And I'm even dreadfully low on caffeine. The jitters are of the natural sort. I just want my baby to be...okay. He was brave when I left him. He wiped his tears and joined the other boys. He actually looked like he was on the brink of having fun. I, on the other hand, walked out of there thinking that every step I took away from those school doors was a major step away from my little boy. A step further from being able to help him if he needed it, a step further from reaching out and hugging him if he felt lonely or scared, and a step further away from completely kicking someone's ass if they hurt a hair on his head. But that's just the "Philly Side" of me coming out (Mare, you know what I mean...). I just feel very far, far away from Zeke right now. But I also feel like maybe he's in a good place. A place filled with love and learning and mostly, God. And that's just how I want my kid to grow up.
But I'm not above kicking ass if need be.