Silenced too soon.

I'm troubled tonight in a way that goes beyond words on a stupid blog. The deal is: a friend of mine died. There it is. Pretty blunt and out there, huh? Well, that's how I feel about it. She and I were quite close at one time...but our friendship was interrupted by cancer. And yeah, that's cancer with a small "c" because it just doesn't ever deserve a capital one. Once my friend started battling the disgusting disease, our time for long phone chats, dinners at Bucca, and spur of the moment pizza dinners when the hubbies were working late just seemed to vanish. Suddenly her time became filled with simply surviving. I, along with her amazing core group of friends, supported her and prayed for her, but it seemingly wasn't enough. This amazing, vibrant, fun, vivacious, creative, loving friend/mother/wife is just gone. And tomorrow we bury her and the hope for her cure. I can't stand the thought of tomorrow and all that it stands for. Because tomorrow means that it's for real: my friend is no longer here to talk to, email, call, read her blog, or simply laugh with. And it's the laughter that I'll really miss. That laughter was contagious and big and loud and good. The kind I think I'll have to wait for a lifetime to hear again.