Brusied and contused.

'Tis the season for fall festivals. This past weekend we went to one in the Chester County area and Zeke had a ball. I enjoyed it aside from the fact that I twisted my ankle about (literally) 6 times. Have any of you guys seen those green tennis-ball looking thingy-things on the ground around here? They're everywhere. Pick 'em up and smell them and they're a lemon/Mr. Clean hybrid. I think it's actually possible to score a cheap high on the scent. I digress. So these tennis-ball thingy-things are ankle crackers. Especially with improper footwear on. Which is typically the case in my world. But, bruised ankles aside, Zeke had fun and our calendar is jam-packed with fall festivals galore. I'll be sure to revise my footwear sitch.

Bliss.

Pauly and I are back from Watch Hill, RI. This marks the first time that we left Zeke and took a trip alone since he was born. Crazy stuff. Although this was a business trip for Pauly, he wanted me to come along since there were a few dinners and luncheons where spouses were welcome. It was nice to get away and feel like an adult again, but my oh my did I miss my Zekey-pants. Watch Hill was beautiful. It's a beach town with tons of character and beautiful homes to match. While the guys were in meetings, the girls took tours, went sightseeing, and visited nearby Mystic, CT. Give me a few weeks of mommyville again and I'll be ready to go back.

Egg on his face (windshield).

It's a gorgeous fall-y September morning. I woke up early, showered, dressed and woke up the boys to get a start to the day. I wanted to go out to Wegman's to stock the pantry for Mom Mom Cookie's arrival this weekend so that she and Zeke could have some fun eating snacks and catching up. As we drove out of our neighborhood, what did I see??? THE PRIVATE PROPERTY PIRATE. Maybe you remember, maybe you don't..but about this time last year a big, fat, mulleted, camouflaged, UFC-watching, cheap beer drinking, poop-toothed a-hole decided it was going to be ok to hunt for deer in the woods in my 'hood. I had words with him regarding this sitch and told him it was against the law to hunt private property and more importantly, so close to, ummmm, PEOPLE....and the mud muncher told me that he "was the law" so he wasn't worried about it. That was the point in the conversation that I explained to him my feelings on his hunting habit (i.e. that it was a shame he was scraping the barrel so lowly that he had to shoot Bambi for his din-din instead of hitting up the Genuardi's produce aisle. In fact I think I told him that the Florida grapefruits were 3 for a $1 that week and he should look into loading up on his fruit and veggie intake instead of his current protein overload. I noted his heavily expanded waistline and double chin as proof...). Buuuuut, much to my dismay, he's back and creeping again in the woods. Looks like I need to buy myself a dozen eggs and teach him a lesson or two...or twelve.

Post Game Wrap Up

Week One of preschool is over. It went smashingly well to my supergigantichugelyenormous surprise. I fully expected nuclear meltdown in the carline when we pulled up to do the day one drop off. You see, in Zeke's school, we do drop off and pick up the good 'ol American way - drive thru style. It's a very sweeeeeeeeeet method - I get to stay in the car while the teacher comes out and does the dirty work of prying Zeke out of his cartoon-and-cereal-bubble into the real world of A-B-C's and 1-2-3's. I went through a few periods last year when Zeke threw the backpack aside, attached himself to my car's headrest, and held on for dear life rather than be yanked into the "real world". Oh, and I should say thanks to Teacher Mary for doing a bang-up job of prying his strong-as-stainless-steel fingertips out of my car leather each and every time during those rough periods and finally getting him into the classroom kicking and screaming. Seems that once she got him in there, he really did enjoy himself after all. But for this week, at least, the removal tactics have not yet had to be deployed. All systems were a go and Zeke's new teacher - Teacher Joyce - seems to have gotten him on her side early in the game. Let's just see if she has the all the right moves to keep him there.

Ring the bell.

This sums up Zeke's attitude about ending his summer vacation and beginning preschool today.

45 pounds of liver.

Zeke starts his second year of preschool tomorrow. Well, he doesn't technically "start"...he goes in for an hour while I go to the school meetinghouse and talk parent business. But still. He's out of my sight. Out of my control. Out of my life. For an hour. Might not sound long to you, but to me? It's VERY VERY long. You see, I grew a second liver when I had a baby. Or a third kidney. However you want to put it. All I know is an extra appendage/organ grew. And grew and grew and grew. And now every day it seems to get bigger and heavier and tougher to manage. I have to decide if it's ok for it to go certain places, for certain people to influence it, for it to be exposed to certain television/radio shows. I have to make sure this appendage doesn't get hurt or too tired or too hungry or too thirsty. This appendage is, well...special to me. For some reason, for the past four years and some odd months, my body hasn't been able to function without it. Strange what those little appendages do to you, huh?

'Doing it up.

It's a shame for Mary. Mary is the sweet, very patient woman that cuts Zeke's hair. Today, Mary earned every dollar I paid her. You see, I haven't taken Zeke for a haircut all summer. He's been rocking the buzz cut for a while and I can just clip that easily enough at home. So, it was bye-bye Mary for a while there. And I could tell that a problem was brewing early this morning when Zeke bristled at the fact that he was to going to get reacquainted with Mary later on in the afternoon. My plan of action was to tire him out at the park, feed him, then let Mary attack with the clippers. Zeke had other plans. When we arrived at the salon the meltdown commenced. There were tears, screams, fists flying, feet stomping, frowns and shouts everywhere. I had to pick him up and place him on the seat. Not too cool. He finally settled in for the cut and I thought had taken on a better attitude about the whole sitch since Mary hooked him up with two lollipops. Not true, unfortunately. After Mary brushed him off and told him what a good boy he ended up being, she instructed him to trot over to the mirror to check out his new 'do. Zeke did. When he saw his haircut, he pulled his lollipop out of his mouth long enough to announce to the entire salon that he looked like a "goofball". What a jerk.

Rant.

There are going to be people who read this post and roll their eyes, sigh, and shake their heads. And really, I don't think that's ok. Because what I'm going to write about is life. And the reverence for it. Now, brace yourself, because the "V word" is about to be mentioned yet again. Vick, that is. As in, Michael Vick, the shithead football player that the Crapadelphia Eagles just signed not so long ago. The Vick topic was once again mentioned on Facebook and it started my animal rights wheels turning. The author of the topic stated his opinion that in no way was an animal's life as important as a human being's. The hairs on the back of my neck stood WAY up as I read that. I steadied my emotions, cooled the steam in my head, and tried to reason with myself. How could it be possible that I equate an animal life to a human life? How do they compare? And here's what I came up with: I can't reason it. I can't judge it. If I didn't create either completely amazing entity, then how can I place value on them? Sure, to us as humans, our "baby humans" are worth their weight in gold. But what about a baby cow, horse, or duck? How do we know that the proud parents of those sweeties don't feel the same? Because they lack the verbal skills to communicate it? Because they can't write it down in a letter? What a sad and ignorant people are we if we lack the judgment and heart to realize that the animal kingdom is not our creation. It's simply a gift on loan for us to admire and yes, sometimes love. Only the creator of all of us, including the animals, is in a position to deem one more worthy of life than the other. Until then, we should live together, respecting each other's place on this earth.