Pasta for one.

I find obituaries shockingly fascinating.  I mean, how can a person live an entire lifetime then be summed up in a 6 sentence paragraph on page 17, section B of the local newspaper?  Fascinating, but sad.  And even sadder when the departed only gets a sentence or two.  Is that it?  That's where we end up?  Smooshed into a column with a Dave & Buster's two-fer advertisement glaring underneath?  How terrible.

I dwell on this today because it's been one year exactly that my friend Shari passed.  She left this world way too soon and left a barrage of friends stunned, sad, hurt, angry, and maybe finally believing.  Shari being gone reminds me to believe in life, believe in family and friends, and believe that I will be remembered once I'm gone.  I don't think I ever believed so strongly as I do today.  Is it Shari working some sort of magic on me?  Is it the fear of a 5 sentence life summary that makes me believe life must be lived before we die?  I'm still not sure, but each day I think I get a little closer to knowing.

Shari probably deserved a whole newspaper to herself when she passed.  She was complicated, graceful, loving, devoted, and beautiful.  She was a woman who was loved by many and who will never be forgotten. 

I thought of you today, S.  I was wishing I could meet you at Bucca for some spaghetti and chatter.  It's not the same without you here.  And I hope that makes you smile up there.

Strangers in the night.

The first week of the year is strange.  I have all these things in my head that I want to accomplish...but I have the same energy level as the last week in December.  Blah.  How does one get motivated and energized without ingesting near-toxic levels of caffeine???

This week has begun lots more homework in Zeke's world.  Homework for Zeke = homework for me.  How do people do it that have more than one kid???  I mean, where's the time?  Here's how our night went last night:

1.  3:15 - pickup from school
2.  3:45 - get home, get snack, watch tv in underwear (Zeke, not me)
3.  4:10 - start getting dressed for tennis lessons
4.  4:20 - leave for tennis lessons
5.  4:22 - do a U-turn and come back home to get forgotten tennis racket
6.  4:50 - run into the gym for tennis lesson
7.  5:40 - leave gym
8.  6:10 - get back home and try to figure out dinner
9.  6:30 - slap a dinner of soup and grilled cheese on the table and hope for the best
10.  7:15 - get zeke's homework and bring it down to our home gym so he can do it while I'm on the treadmill
11.  7:30 - I'm on the treadmill, zeke's homework is sitting on the floor next to me, but he's playing basketball with Pauly
12.  8:00 - I freak out b/c it's 8:00 and homework hasn't been done, lunches haven't been packed, and teeth haven't been brushed
13:  8:05 - we go upstairs and start homework
14.  8:40 - still doing some online homework
15.  8:50 - shut down computer and force Zeke into the bathroom for teeth brushing and bed preparation
16.  9:05 - put Zeke in bed with t.v. on for "15 minutes" while I pack lunches and watch a little t.v.
17.  9:30 - was so involved in the Real Housewives rerun that I didn't notice it was 9:30 and my kid was still wide awake on a school night watching Spongebob Squarepants.
18.  9:35 - turn off all electronic devices in Zeke's room, say goodnight, and roll on into my bed
19.  9:50 - hear a noise, walk down the hall, and realize that Zeke has logged into his laptop and is playing Club Penguin under the covers
20.  10:00 - back to my bed after confiscating the laptop
21.  10:30 - check on Zeke and find that he's FINALLY asleep
22.  11-ish - somewhere in here I fall asleep
23.  3:22 a.m. - woken up by Zeke holding 4 teddy bears and a king-sized woobie...he wants to sleep in my bed.
24.  3:23 a.m. - let Zeke and his entourage in my bed, try to curl myself up into the tiniest ball of human ever so I can fit in between 3 dogs, the hubs, a 57-lb kid, and 4 teddy bears.
25. 3:30 a.m. - everyone is asleep, I think I'm drifting off myself....and the doves all start cooing. 
26. 3:31 a.m. - I'm still awake and start thinking about "stuff":  is it considered a murder if I flush all of the eggs that the doves keep laying?, should I try that laundry-thingy that lets you put your colors and your whites all in the same load?, did Zeke eat his lunch that I packed him or did he buy Doritos in the cafeteria and call it a day?, I really need to dump out that huge bag of unmatched socks and do some matching tomorrow, if it snows will the snowblower finally work?, am I getting enough fiber?, blah, blah, blah, blah....
27:  6:10 a.m. - start all over again.

The Post of the Year

It's January.  Already.  How'd that happen?  Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas Eve, and Christmas.  Done in an instant.  Notice I rank Black Friday right on up there in "holiday status".  Can't go a year without it...

Our holidays were nice.  I promised myself I'd NOT get sick and I pretty much accomplished that.  I may have lived with a headache for a few stretches of time, but the Lupus didn't get the best of me.  I'm grateful for that.  And for family that seems to understand my limitations.  In the new year, I am determined to be healthier and more conscious of each day. 

In the spirit of the new year, I want to do a repeat of something I posted last year.  It's interesting and thought provoking.  Here goes:

2010:

Best Day:   the day we flew into the Bahamas to celebrate my 40th birthday.



Worst Day: the day I dropped Zeke off for his first full day of Kindergarten.


Best Decision: to send to his current school and to allow him to do full time Kindergarten



Worst Decision: to ignore the water problem in our basement after a heavy rain.  That ignorance led to a problem with mold and caused us to have to rip up carpeting, have a mold specialist come in, and tons more work that is still ongoing that I don't even want to talk about because it still annoys and tortures me to this day. 


Best Realization: that I want to start my own business


Worst Realization: that the new Lupus drug that has been approved by the FDA won't be too much of a benefit to me.


Biggest Hope: that I actually get a paying gig this year with my new business


Biggest Fear:  getting sicker.  But I'm not going to let that happen and will be responsible and timely about all of my doctor's appointments to be sure of it.


People I can't live without: Paul & Zeke



People I can live without: dead weights in my life



Best Fashion Find: a great pair of jeans that I can dress up or down and the uber-fuzzy gloves that Pauly and Zeke gave me for Christmas.  Oh, and my new socks.  I love socks.  And scarves.  And purses.

Worst Fashion Find:  a bracelet that I thought I loved and now I think it looks ridiculous.


Fashion Obsession:  Still purses but moving into socks and jewelry too.


Fashion Hate:  tights with Uggs

Best Food/Drink Find:  Coke Zero which I desperately want to stop drinking.

Worst Food/Drink Find: - Cici's pizza.  The. Most. Disgusting. Food.  Ever.


Food/Drink Love:  sauteed spinach and artichokes at Bertucci's



Food/Drink Hate: any food with meat and any drink with milk



TV Love: Bridezillas, Jersey Shore, Big Brother, Real Housewives


TV Hate:  golf.  BORRRRRRRRRRRRING.

Internet Love: petfinder.com


Internet Hate: Twitter (don't waste your time telling me that you're about to take out the recycles. I'm not about to care.)


Best Development:  Getting a part time job for about 5 minutes.


Worst Development:  realizing that the part time job I was so in love with was a complete waste of my time.



Best Investment: my Tiffany necklace .  Love it and wear it most days.



Worst Investment:  Most of the toys we've bought for Zeke this year.  All he wants to do is play basketball in the basement.


Best Travel:  Bahamas


Worst Travel:  none.  I love travel.


Personal Empowerment: turning 40 and not really giving a crap.


Personal Struggle:  letting Zeke grow up.


Best Accomplishment: Zeke and my marriage



Worst Failure:  trying to get Timmy healthier.  His poor little heart is still really bad.


How I'm Ending This Year:  hopeful, scared, determined. 


Happy 2011 everyone.  May your year be filled with love, laughter and light.