Happy Birthday (to me).

This week is the week of The Great Hatch. Now, for those of you who aren't following my waaaaaaaaay exciting life on Facebook, let me fill you in (60 Cent!). About a month ago, Zeke convinced me to buy him a pair of doves. We had stopped in a pet store to browse (what a retarded idea, knowing my propensity to bring home all things cute...), and that's when we saw the doves. Zeke asked and I obliged. Pauly had no idea they were here until he heard the coo-coo-cooing and realized something was askew. Now, Pauly will ALWAYS say no when asked if we can adopt a new pet. I guess it's the gaybird "responsible" side of him surfacing. Buuuuuttt, when faced with the notion of actually kicking out an animal that has already been brought home? No waaaay will he do that. That's when the tough facade cracks. He, like me, sees the sweet soul of each little creature and simply can't abandon them. I guess that's why I married him in the first place. If he hunted or smoked, I never would have EVEN given him a second look. But anyway, the doves are now here and are part of our brood. One thing I hadn't bargained for when I brought home these sweeties is the fact that they're a breeding pair. Yep, they're ready to populate all 4 bedrooms of my house and possibly even the man-cave with little dove babies given enough time. As I type, Diane (the female) is sitting on her first pair of eggs, anxiously awaiting their hatch. So, I've dubbed this the week of The Great Hatch. It'll be our first experience with hatching. Our first experience watching new animal life come into the world. And our first experience watching it from the comfort of our own home. I have to say...I'm like a kid at Christmas.

Contractors and co-pays.

In the spirit of my Carpe Diem attitude lately, I've decided it's time to spend a bit of money. If we're doing the whole "full disclosure" thing-a-ma-jig, I guess I should say I'm spending more than a "bit" at the moment. But, it's worth it. I'm renovating an entire room on our first floor and it's beginning to take shape into exactly what I imagined. Here's the deal though: one of the carpenters working for us just had a baby. Awesome, right? Yeah. But here's the rough part: he was recently laid off from his full time job - and this was after buying a new home to start his nice new family life. I've been so rocked by the total sadness of this guy's situation that it hurts. He's a super-nice guy, hardworking, quiet...a simple, quiet man who is now searching high and low for work because he's one of the many catastrophes that's happening as a result of the economy taking a nosedive. This is the first real example I've experienced of the crappy economy. I've read about people losing their houses, their cars, their businesses in the newspapers. But to hear that this guy has a 2 week old baby and no health insurance??? I'm stunned to silence. And that just doesn't usually happen.

I'm lucky to have what I have and be where I am. I'm lucky for so many reasons and maybe for even meeting my carpenter. He has made me realize that small things - things like a $15 co-pay - are things for which to be thankful. Because his co-pays may take him years to payback.

Grab the ball and run

I've noticed something very strange about life: it keeps on truckin'. And, whether you're in it or you're out...it keeps on moving. The sun rises the next day, everyone wakes up, has their caffeine hit, and proceeds with their day. This has shocked me into a morbid reality lately. The reality that I'm kinda' disposable. I mean, not in a depressing/I-want-to-slit-my-wrists kind of way, but in a way that shakes the cobwebs out of my mind and makes me realize that life must be lived...and NOW. I can't simply auto-pilot through my day, counting down the hours until it's time to crawl back into bed. It won't cut it. I need to grasp it. Observe it. Make it a teachable moment for my kid and even for myself. I need to LIVE the hours of my life. So even if I'm just trekking to the park or to Chuck E. (crappy) Cheese, I'm gonna' grasp it. For the sake of the friends who aren't here and wish they were - even for just one more sunset.


~In Memory of Shari~

Silenced too soon.

I'm troubled tonight in a way that goes beyond words on a stupid blog. The deal is: a friend of mine died. There it is. Pretty blunt and out there, huh? Well, that's how I feel about it. She and I were quite close at one time...but our friendship was interrupted by cancer. And yeah, that's cancer with a small "c" because it just doesn't ever deserve a capital one. Once my friend started battling the disgusting disease, our time for long phone chats, dinners at Bucca, and spur of the moment pizza dinners when the hubbies were working late just seemed to vanish. Suddenly her time became filled with simply surviving. I, along with her amazing core group of friends, supported her and prayed for her, but it seemingly wasn't enough. This amazing, vibrant, fun, vivacious, creative, loving friend/mother/wife is just gone. And tomorrow we bury her and the hope for her cure. I can't stand the thought of tomorrow and all that it stands for. Because tomorrow means that it's for real: my friend is no longer here to talk to, email, call, read her blog, or simply laugh with. And it's the laughter that I'll really miss. That laughter was contagious and big and loud and good. The kind I think I'll have to wait for a lifetime to hear again.

Jam of the Day | Matthew Ryan - The Wilderness

Jam of the Day Matthew Ryan - The Wilderness

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It took a decade to create this list.

Haven't posted in a while. I think my blog is mad at me. Sorry, sorry, it's been too insane to stop and download photos or even get a thought down in here. But here's the scoop: tomorrow school starts again for Zeke and that means it's the official end of the holidays. I'm so sad about that. I'm not ready to move into a new year, let alone a new decade. I'm procrastinating, dragging my feet, and feeling sappy about things that are moving too fast. Before I know it, June will be here and my baby will be on summer break. I hate how time is flying by. Grab it, hold onto it...it's all so fleeting.

So, my friend Missy over at The Fox and the Crow summed up her decade with a pretty mind twisting list. I'm stealing it and repeating here on my blog with my own decade memories, hoping that she doesn't mind the thievery:

Best Day: the day I gave birth to Zeke
Worst Day: I have to agree with Missy, 9/11/01

Best Decision: to adopt our third dog, Simon
Worst Decision: to allow Nixon (a family dog) to be adopted out

Best Realization: that I WAS meant to be a mom, after all
Worst Realization: that I probably wouldn't be able to fulfill all of my career goals

Biggest Hope: that I make the best decisions regarding Zeke's education
Biggest Fear: that the new Lupus drug, Benlysta, won't pass FDA approval and my Lupus will get worse.

Best Year: not sure, but '09 has been pretty good.
Worst Year: 2001. 9/11 made me realize how vulnerable we are.

People I can't live without: Paul & Zeke
People I can live without: dead weights in my life

Best Fashion Find: long, shawl collared sweater
Worst Fashion Find: long, shawl collared sweater (love 'em, but they make me look even shorter)

Fashion Obsession: OMG, purses, of course
Fashion Hate: yeah, I agree with Missy, UGGS. And I'm not ashamed to say that I wore a pair for 10 minutes back in '08. What was I thinking?

Best Food/Drink Find: Ty-Phoo tea from England
Worst Food/Drink Find: Hawaiian Pizza - McMahon made me try it and I tasted bacon for hours.

Food/Drink Love: Tacconelli's pizza
Food/Drink Hate: any food with meat and any drink with milk

TV Love: Jockeys, Lost, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bridezillas, Jersey Shore, Big Brother
TV Hate: Two and a Half Men (I hate most of the Sheens. Emilio seems okay based on the fact that he changed his last name, seemingly disassociating himself from the other Sheen bozos).

Internet Love: petfinder.com
Internet Hate: Twitter (don't waste your time telling me that you're about to take out the recycles. I'm not about to care.)

Best Development: Zeke learning the nuances of all of the Nancy/Paul jokes and when to interject the appropriate punch lines
Worst Development: Timmy's (my 2nd chihuahua) heart condition

Best Investment: our current home
Worst Investment: BOTH of the old Volvos we purchased thinking we'd drive them for 50 years. No such luck.

Best Travel: England
Worst Travel: Philadelphia (it's not really "travel" but it takes us about 30 minutes to get there and it seems to irritate me EVERY time.)

Personal Empowerment: being on the verge of 40
Personal Struggle: career deprivation

Best Accomplishment: Zeke and my marriage
Worst Failure: I've lost faith in the Catholic church.

How I Started This Decade: unsure
How I'm Ending This Decade: confident in myself as a woman, loved by my family, in love with my boys, hopeful for a healthier future, determined to find career fulfillment, kinder to the animal world, and on a mission to educate people about the importance of respecting animals even if you don't choose to love them.


Happy 2010 everyone. May it be peaceful and filled with love.