Diners are for 4 pm breakfasts, dummy.

There's much to talk about people. I haven't posted since LAST TUESDAY. That's some whacky stuff right there. Where've I been, you ask? Let's see. Here's the list:

1. Wednesday was spent baking Mom Mom Mare's famous cheesecake followed up by baking my first ever attempt at an apple pie. Both turned out good, thankfully, since the in-laws were the guinea pigs for those two taste treats. After I made the desserts, Pauly requested my famous spicy long hot fried peppers for the Thanksgiving appetizer, so I had to get them going and bake the tiny toasts that go with them. Pretty much, my day was spent in the kitchen. Howard Eskin would be proud of me. (Sidebar: I loathe Howard Eskin and anything that leaves his mouth. I hope he's reading this and realizes he's soooo NOT HOT and completely ridiculous.)

2. Thursday was Turkey Day of course. I spent the morning with the newspaper spread out on the table studying, mapping, and creating my game plan for the upcoming events of Black Friday (enter the soothing harpsichord music and tiny floating cherubs...). After my newspaper mania, we packed up all our baked goodies and headed up to the Poconos for a Thanksgiving celebration with Pauly's family. We pretty much had to chow and plow since I was allllll about getting home and getting a few hours of shut eye before the BIG SHOW started.

3. THE BIG DAY. At 2:50 am on Black Friday, I woke up, took a mini-shower (which means I dodged in and out of the droplets so I didn't get my hair wet), put on a baseball cap, and headed out the door to pick up a few other Mommy Bloggers and hit the stores. We were out and shopping by 3:55 am. It was fantabulous. Here's what Kohl's looked like when we pulled up at 4:05 am:

4. At one point in the day, we thought we had seen it all. We had seen women with no makeup, people walking around with boxes piled so high you couldn't see their faces, and a few babies out shopping with their parents at 4:30 in the morning (how ridiculous!). Then, we went to Walmart. Seems that Walmart can always top them all, huh? Here's what we found in the Walmart parking lot:

Yep, that's right. A Winnie. Somebody was so intent on getting into Walmart before anyone else that they chose to park their Winnie in the parking lot on Thanksgiving, feast on some Wawa turkey hoagies, and then catch a few winks in their comfy Winnie bunks. How bizarre. Sorry, I'd rather pay an extra $20 for my Leapster and sleep in my own bed, go wee wee in my own potty, and have a nice warm shower in my own palace. They can take the Winnie and their bargains. I'm just not that hardcore. Oh, and thanks Jenn and Shannon for the sweet pose next to the rockin' Winnie. At least you guys made it look a little cuter.

5. Flash forward to today, Sunday. We all slept in pretty late because the cold, yucky rain is a real bummer. Once again, my bones just won't warm up. We decided to go to a model train museum in Phoenixville so Zeke could have a bit of indoor fun. It was really excellent. Congrats to all of the men who work so hard to make the model railroad so cool and so much fun. After the railroad museum, we stopped at the Paoli Diner for a bite to eat. It was on the way home and well, I just wanted a place where Zeke could get pancakes and be happy. Guess who walked in while we were there??? Hurricane Schwartz. I was all set - camera in hand - to grab a picture for my bloggity blog blog, when I realized that he was....gulp....a jerk. He barely said a word to the waiter and never even exchanged pleasantries when approached. The woman sitting with him was pretty much a female Hurricane - all pasty and skinny and icky - and they sat there holding hands over the table. Now for the good part, folks. And this is when you'll be happy that A) Hurricane sat in the booth directly diagonal from mine, and B) I have really good hearing and listened intently to every word they were saying. The good part...Hurricane Schwartz ordered LEG OF LAMB!!!!!!! What the heck is THAT??? Who orders leg of lamb in a DINER???? The placement of Hurricane's dinner order leads me to believe one thing about this joke of a weatherman: he, in his ridiculous meterologically clouded (no pun intended) tiny (because he IS very, very tiny folks...) mind, thinks that the Paoli Diner is fine dining!!! I mean, leg of lamb, holding hands over the table? Those two things for me happen at Le Chic Foo-Foo....NOT THE PAOLI DINER. Oh Hurricane. You are sad. You are a tiny, pale, un-handsome, unfriendly, mean-to-waitstaff, leg of lamb ordering buffoon. Just goes to show you...money doesn't buy you taste or taste buds. Only gimmicky bow ties.