I didn't even know I was expecting.

Life has sprung anew in our household. The doves have successfully hatched their eggs! The whole process of these tiny little dove eggs has been insane. The first clutch of eggs didn't survive. My nephew surmises that the temperature of the cage didn't stay warm enough to allow the developing embryo to live. It was a sad day when Zeke and I realized that the mommy and daddy dove had given up on the first two eggs. They left the nest they had so carefully guarded for 18 days. Just left it high and dry. Zeke and I left the 2 eggs in the nest for about 5 more days, unprotected, but nothing happened. That's when I knew the mission would be fruitless. We removed the eggs and planned on a burial, but of course we had to know first if the eggs contained anything other than, well, yolk. So, the dissection began. I let Zeke get some tweezers and break into the egg. Sadly, we saw a tiny little dead dove. Same with the second one. We said a little prayer, Zeke told God he could have the baby doves as His pet, and we buried them (in the toilet since it's about -90 in the region right now...). The good news is that about 2 weeks later we found a new clutch of eggs in the nest (actually it's the doves' foodbowl, but, oh well...). We took good care of the eggs this time and kept them warm with a tiny space heater. Zeke watched and waited and about 17 days later.....TWO BABIES APPEARED!!! The babies are about 12 days old now and they're precious. The mommy and daddy dove take very good care of them, providing them with all the nourishment they need, and within about 2 to 3 weeks the babies will be out and about in the cage on their own. Which leads me to the ultimate question: what do I do with all of these doves???? And what do I do if little Miss Mommy Dove decides to keep on producing little chicks????????? Ummmmm, I'm all about first-hand biology experiments and everything, but I can foresee this deal becoming an overpopulation situation. Anyone want some doves? They're cute and they're free. As long as Zeke and I get visitation, that is.


So, other than populating our region with doves, Zeke has also been going to a science class on Tuesdays. He loves it and looks forward to it each week. It has mostly been about animals, so I think that could be the major attraction for him. I'll have him in veterinarian school before Pauly can sink his finance/accounting fingers into him. :)

That's it for now. I'm not feeling overly wordy, so I'll post a photo diary of the baby doves over to the side. Have fun browsing our little babies!

Subzero.

Going in and out of my driveway is currently like competing in an Olympic sport. It's a luge track, I tell you, long, narrow, and extremely icy. Add to that, the fact that I'm driving an SUV in which I can barely see over the steering wheel, and I've got issues. Issues that occur over and over and over and over multiple times a day as I run here, there, and everywhere just doing my life. Because you see, "doing my life" means that I'm jumping in and out of my car and driving up and down the luge track that was once my driveway, about 34 times a day. It's irritating. The snow that was, for a few glorious days, fun and pretty, is now icy, annoying, dirty, and ugly. I'm over it and I'm ready to move on to spring.

Zeke has enjoyed the snow though. I guess all this whiteness is a dream come true for a 4 year old. Snow days, sledding, hot cocoa and pizza parties with friends...what's not to love? Today I put some food coloring in a squirt bottle and let him "paint" the snow. He had tons of fun. After he emptied the squirt bottle and I told him it was time to come in (mostly because I was shivering and freezing and sooooo extremely ready for a hot cup of tea), he stomped in angrily and told me he wanted to keep playing. I told him that was enough outside time for today and we'd do more tomorrow. As I shuffled him upstairs for some snuggle/tv time, I asked him to carry up a few books that needed to go into my bedroom. My hands were already full of folded laundry, so I needed an extra hand getting the books up. Well, I guess he was irritated and tired and cold and whatever...but he blurted out on his way up: "WHY ARE YOU SO HELPLESS?????" Ummmmmmmmmm......what? Why am I so helpless? Like, when was the last time I asked you for EVERY SINGLE TINY THING I NEEDED TO LIVE???? What the heck is with this kid? Amazing how quickly he forgets where his next meal is cooked.

So, that's it for now from here. Dealing with the snow, hating the frigid air, but enjoying time with my baby and my hubs. Come on spring...

i'll take the gray, hooded one.

0nce again, it's time to play catch up. shocking that i haven't posted in over a week. i'm in a funk with posting life news at the moment, i guess. when i lost my friend to cancer a month ago, things got strange. i started thinking that my little posts about going to the park or to a museum were RIDICULOUS compared to the fact that my friend is now no longer even walking the earth. but slowly (like snail's pace-slowly), i'm figuring out that it most certainly is the news about the park outings, the moonbounces, and the museum trips that are worth posting. these are the days, my days, with my kiddo. and they need to be logged, jotted down, photographed, remembered. this is a life i'm working on here...a little person i'm growing...and he deserves to be blogged.

so, based on all of that supreme knowledge, here's what we've been up to:

-every tuesday morning, we go to science camp. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. love it. last week was baby animals week. helllllo.....what more could a kid want than to start his day with an hour-long class about baby ANIMALS. sweeet.

-the carpenters and painters are finally finished in our den. it looks really awesome. now i've slammed pauly with the hard facts: i can't live without new furniture in the room. the old stuff doesn't match and won't work. sorry. so, to make a long story short, the new furniture is supposed to be delivered on wednesday. woman wins.

-but, another g.d. snowstorm is supposed to hit smack dab in the middle of my furniture festivities. the snow is supposed to come in hard tuesday night through wednesday - directly in the middle of my scheduled delivery. woman may lose. temporarily. still a big ew for woman.

-on a sad note, my little chi-chi timmy is coughing more and more each day. his heart is beating hard in his chest and i feel like i'm watching him slip away each day. he has congestive heart failure and is doing one day at a time at the moment. i love my timmy. he was the perfect addition to our little family 11 years ago when it was just pauly, otto (our first chi-chi) and me. timmy is a smiley little creature with the most beautiful colors i've ever seen on a doggie. the caramel colors around his face are delicious. the browns on his back are gorgeous enough to make me want to go brunette. and the white fur around his neck is so soft that i call it his "bunny fur". i can't imagine saying goodbye to my tim-tim. he's my sweet, sweet baby boy. i really pray that i can face whatever is in store for me with my pup. i pray and pray and pray. because i love my pups so darn much....

ugh. so that's it. a bunch of incomplete sentences, terrible grammar, and no capitalization. but that's about all i can muster in the middle of february with snow all around and 2 feet more of it on the way. spring isn't even a blip on the radar and i find myself only wanting to wear heavy, hooded sweatshirts so i can pull the hood up tight over my head. maybe i'm trying to stay warm in all of this white mess....or maybe i'm trying to drown out the sound of reality on the horizon. either way, i just want to go on wearing my hoodies for now. :(

Happy Birthday (to me).

This week is the week of The Great Hatch. Now, for those of you who aren't following my waaaaaaaaay exciting life on Facebook, let me fill you in (60 Cent!). About a month ago, Zeke convinced me to buy him a pair of doves. We had stopped in a pet store to browse (what a retarded idea, knowing my propensity to bring home all things cute...), and that's when we saw the doves. Zeke asked and I obliged. Pauly had no idea they were here until he heard the coo-coo-cooing and realized something was askew. Now, Pauly will ALWAYS say no when asked if we can adopt a new pet. I guess it's the gaybird "responsible" side of him surfacing. Buuuuuttt, when faced with the notion of actually kicking out an animal that has already been brought home? No waaaay will he do that. That's when the tough facade cracks. He, like me, sees the sweet soul of each little creature and simply can't abandon them. I guess that's why I married him in the first place. If he hunted or smoked, I never would have EVEN given him a second look. But anyway, the doves are now here and are part of our brood. One thing I hadn't bargained for when I brought home these sweeties is the fact that they're a breeding pair. Yep, they're ready to populate all 4 bedrooms of my house and possibly even the man-cave with little dove babies given enough time. As I type, Diane (the female) is sitting on her first pair of eggs, anxiously awaiting their hatch. So, I've dubbed this the week of The Great Hatch. It'll be our first experience with hatching. Our first experience watching new animal life come into the world. And our first experience watching it from the comfort of our own home. I have to say...I'm like a kid at Christmas.

Contractors and co-pays.

In the spirit of my Carpe Diem attitude lately, I've decided it's time to spend a bit of money. If we're doing the whole "full disclosure" thing-a-ma-jig, I guess I should say I'm spending more than a "bit" at the moment. But, it's worth it. I'm renovating an entire room on our first floor and it's beginning to take shape into exactly what I imagined. Here's the deal though: one of the carpenters working for us just had a baby. Awesome, right? Yeah. But here's the rough part: he was recently laid off from his full time job - and this was after buying a new home to start his nice new family life. I've been so rocked by the total sadness of this guy's situation that it hurts. He's a super-nice guy, hardworking, quiet...a simple, quiet man who is now searching high and low for work because he's one of the many catastrophes that's happening as a result of the economy taking a nosedive. This is the first real example I've experienced of the crappy economy. I've read about people losing their houses, their cars, their businesses in the newspapers. But to hear that this guy has a 2 week old baby and no health insurance??? I'm stunned to silence. And that just doesn't usually happen.

I'm lucky to have what I have and be where I am. I'm lucky for so many reasons and maybe for even meeting my carpenter. He has made me realize that small things - things like a $15 co-pay - are things for which to be thankful. Because his co-pays may take him years to payback.

Grab the ball and run

I've noticed something very strange about life: it keeps on truckin'. And, whether you're in it or you're out...it keeps on moving. The sun rises the next day, everyone wakes up, has their caffeine hit, and proceeds with their day. This has shocked me into a morbid reality lately. The reality that I'm kinda' disposable. I mean, not in a depressing/I-want-to-slit-my-wrists kind of way, but in a way that shakes the cobwebs out of my mind and makes me realize that life must be lived...and NOW. I can't simply auto-pilot through my day, counting down the hours until it's time to crawl back into bed. It won't cut it. I need to grasp it. Observe it. Make it a teachable moment for my kid and even for myself. I need to LIVE the hours of my life. So even if I'm just trekking to the park or to Chuck E. (crappy) Cheese, I'm gonna' grasp it. For the sake of the friends who aren't here and wish they were - even for just one more sunset.


~In Memory of Shari~

Silenced too soon.

I'm troubled tonight in a way that goes beyond words on a stupid blog. The deal is: a friend of mine died. There it is. Pretty blunt and out there, huh? Well, that's how I feel about it. She and I were quite close at one time...but our friendship was interrupted by cancer. And yeah, that's cancer with a small "c" because it just doesn't ever deserve a capital one. Once my friend started battling the disgusting disease, our time for long phone chats, dinners at Bucca, and spur of the moment pizza dinners when the hubbies were working late just seemed to vanish. Suddenly her time became filled with simply surviving. I, along with her amazing core group of friends, supported her and prayed for her, but it seemingly wasn't enough. This amazing, vibrant, fun, vivacious, creative, loving friend/mother/wife is just gone. And tomorrow we bury her and the hope for her cure. I can't stand the thought of tomorrow and all that it stands for. Because tomorrow means that it's for real: my friend is no longer here to talk to, email, call, read her blog, or simply laugh with. And it's the laughter that I'll really miss. That laughter was contagious and big and loud and good. The kind I think I'll have to wait for a lifetime to hear again.

Jam of the Day | Matthew Ryan - The Wilderness

Jam of the Day Matthew Ryan - The Wilderness

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It took a decade to create this list.

Haven't posted in a while. I think my blog is mad at me. Sorry, sorry, it's been too insane to stop and download photos or even get a thought down in here. But here's the scoop: tomorrow school starts again for Zeke and that means it's the official end of the holidays. I'm so sad about that. I'm not ready to move into a new year, let alone a new decade. I'm procrastinating, dragging my feet, and feeling sappy about things that are moving too fast. Before I know it, June will be here and my baby will be on summer break. I hate how time is flying by. Grab it, hold onto it...it's all so fleeting.

So, my friend Missy over at The Fox and the Crow summed up her decade with a pretty mind twisting list. I'm stealing it and repeating here on my blog with my own decade memories, hoping that she doesn't mind the thievery:

Best Day: the day I gave birth to Zeke
Worst Day: I have to agree with Missy, 9/11/01

Best Decision: to adopt our third dog, Simon
Worst Decision: to allow Nixon (a family dog) to be adopted out

Best Realization: that I WAS meant to be a mom, after all
Worst Realization: that I probably wouldn't be able to fulfill all of my career goals

Biggest Hope: that I make the best decisions regarding Zeke's education
Biggest Fear: that the new Lupus drug, Benlysta, won't pass FDA approval and my Lupus will get worse.

Best Year: not sure, but '09 has been pretty good.
Worst Year: 2001. 9/11 made me realize how vulnerable we are.

People I can't live without: Paul & Zeke
People I can live without: dead weights in my life

Best Fashion Find: long, shawl collared sweater
Worst Fashion Find: long, shawl collared sweater (love 'em, but they make me look even shorter)

Fashion Obsession: OMG, purses, of course
Fashion Hate: yeah, I agree with Missy, UGGS. And I'm not ashamed to say that I wore a pair for 10 minutes back in '08. What was I thinking?

Best Food/Drink Find: Ty-Phoo tea from England
Worst Food/Drink Find: Hawaiian Pizza - McMahon made me try it and I tasted bacon for hours.

Food/Drink Love: Tacconelli's pizza
Food/Drink Hate: any food with meat and any drink with milk

TV Love: Jockeys, Lost, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bridezillas, Jersey Shore, Big Brother
TV Hate: Two and a Half Men (I hate most of the Sheens. Emilio seems okay based on the fact that he changed his last name, seemingly disassociating himself from the other Sheen bozos).

Internet Love: petfinder.com
Internet Hate: Twitter (don't waste your time telling me that you're about to take out the recycles. I'm not about to care.)

Best Development: Zeke learning the nuances of all of the Nancy/Paul jokes and when to interject the appropriate punch lines
Worst Development: Timmy's (my 2nd chihuahua) heart condition

Best Investment: our current home
Worst Investment: BOTH of the old Volvos we purchased thinking we'd drive them for 50 years. No such luck.

Best Travel: England
Worst Travel: Philadelphia (it's not really "travel" but it takes us about 30 minutes to get there and it seems to irritate me EVERY time.)

Personal Empowerment: being on the verge of 40
Personal Struggle: career deprivation

Best Accomplishment: Zeke and my marriage
Worst Failure: I've lost faith in the Catholic church.

How I Started This Decade: unsure
How I'm Ending This Decade: confident in myself as a woman, loved by my family, in love with my boys, hopeful for a healthier future, determined to find career fulfillment, kinder to the animal world, and on a mission to educate people about the importance of respecting animals even if you don't choose to love them.


Happy 2010 everyone. May it be peaceful and filled with love.

Upside

Things I liked this weekend:

1. watching the weatherpeople get all NUTTO about the impending snow storm
2. getting all psyched up for the storm
3. watching all the snow fall during the storm
4. going outside and playing in the snow for just a little while (it was COLD out there)
5. the hot cocoa and snuggling under the cozy blankets after we came in
6. the fact that Timmy seemed to REALLY, REALLY enjoy the tiny pathway that Pauly shoveled out front. Timmy ran like the wind - it was a good sight to see.

Things I disliked this weekend:

1. dealing with gross, hungover guys who were out to make tons of cash off of people needing their driveways plowed. Thankfully, one of our neighbors came by with a plow attached to his Jeep and plowed us out. After calling to cancel the gross guy's plow, he told me I had to pay a $30 surcharge for cancelling. Ummmmmm, yeah, ok, send me the bill and hold your breath waiting for me to pay, Mr. Creepy Gross Guy.

2. the fact that Timmy's vet had to add another medication to his regimen. Timmy's heart problem is progressing and there's nothing much I can do about it other than medicate him and love him up. My little, sweet Timmy. I can't face the fact that he's got a sick ticker. :(

3. dealing with a 3-day-old migraine. Ok, Mr. Migraine...you've made your point. You can go now.


So, that's not too bad. The pros waaaay outweigh the cons for the weekend. Nice. I guess the glass ended up half full. Now on to Christmas week...

Postworthy

It's been a bit since I last posted - the holiday madness has definitely set in. Every night I think to myself "I really want to go in there and post something fabulous"...then I get tangled up with a thousand other things. But here are some things that have crossed my mind that are "post-worthy":

1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULY. Sorry I didn't post this back on the 10th, but we were busy partying down with the family. May your next year be filled with love, laughter, and a feeling a peace. If we continue to follow our heads and hearts and stick to our "GWBD", then I know we will always end up ok and together. Happy, happy...and many, many, many, many more.

2. Ok, other than birthdays, my "normal" days are getting a bit odd lately. Zeke questions everything. Everything. Nothing slips by. Like, on mornings when I just want to drive with the radio on and sip my tea quietly, I'll hear a small voice from the back asking me "what is that orange box on all the trees"? So I look. I DO see the orange boxes on the all of the trees as we pass them, but to be honest, I've never given them a second thought. I just figured, they were, well, just there. Maybe it's a PECO thing? Maybe it's a water company thing? Or maybe it's some cool new environmental dealio that is monitoring the health of any tree that is past a certain age. All I know is that I DON'T KNOW. And in the morning, a cold morning at that, I just DON'T WANT TO KNOW. And I don't want to Google it or Bing it or whatever the heck I could do to figure it out and enlighten my kid. I just want to sip my tea and listen to the radio. I don't want to discover new and important stuff. Not at 8 in the morning. Talk to me after lunch. I'm a better mommy after noontime and a half day's worth of caffeine.

3. I don't like my Christmas card this year. I put a lot of time into finding a good one, then settled on a crappy one. So, when you get it from me, just know this: it does not in any way represent my taste, lifestyle or mood. I hate the color red, don't particularly like polka-dots, and I'm not really into the "retro-y" style of goods that are out and about these days. My Christmas card is all of the aforementioned and I think it's really ugly. I apologize in advance for hurting your eyes - especially when you have to squint super-duper hard to read our signature line - it's retardedly tiny print. What a total WOM. Waste of money, that is. Should've e-carded...

4. Here's a big bloggy high five to my friend Rick who apparently reads my little site here on a regular basis. I honestly thought I was typing into cyberspace - a big, black abyss - where nobody ever came around and clicked me. It's nice to get clicked. Clicks make me feel, well, needed. Clicks make all this typing worthwhile. Thanks for the clicks, Rick. You rock. But, you already knew that... :)


That's it for now - more later and tons of pix coming up. Enjoy the mayhem of the holiday. Or at least survive it.

See a free movie - compliments of General Mills!

Sooooooooooooooooo...I don't usually blog about this type of thing BUT...I just have to tell you about this little freebie deal that General Mills has sent my way. Just for being a super-awesome blogger (if I do say so myself!) General Mills mailed me a package complete with 4 free tickets to the movies! How do you like that?!?!?!! You see, they're trying to hype their new promotion where you buy 2 specially marked packages of GM cereals (such as Trix - yum. Um, heck yeah, they're sooo not just for kids!), you enter the codes that are stamped on the inside of the boxes at the website on the box, and voila!, you've got yourself a free movie!!! It's a totally sweet deal, especially if you're like Zeke and you eat your cereal out of buckets instead of bowls! Why waste those codes - don't throw them away - enter them today and get your free movie.

And one more thing...if you are the first to comment on my posting here with your name and address, General Mills will happily supply me with one more 4 pack of movie tickets just for you! GET COMMENTING!!!

One bed, one bath.

I'm slightly obsessed with real estate. When the Sunday paper arrives, I like to scour the real estate section just out of curiosity. Whenever I see a "For Sale" sign pointed down a street I've always loved, I take a little detour to do a drive-by. I'm constantly on realtor.com poking around...and really, I don't know why. I love where we live. I love our life and our yard and our home. Which brings me to today's real estate section of the newspaper. Typically there's an article I read that describes in glorious detail the ammmmmmmmaaaaaazing interior and exterior of some gorgeous digs in some scrumptious neighborhood that makes me giggle and wiggle in my chair as I read each and every word. By the end of the article, I'm ready to go to the Home Depot and redesign at least 6 of the rooms in my own happy haven. But today's article was oddly different. It detailed a...gulp...tiny rowhome. I made it past the first paragraph (mostly because the picture attached to the article had the homeowner standing next to her precious chi-chi mix doggie and I had to give it a chance...), and lo and behold, this story moved me. This rowhome story moved me. The house was tiny but the woman who owned it loved it. She took care of it. She made it special and unique - it reflected her and her own lovely quirks. The tiny lawn out front was meticulous with pretty annuals and perennials. The quaint little backyard was a cozy little nook for her and her pooch to enjoy. And that's what struck me. This woman, this amazing, hardworking and humble woman truly enjoyed her tiny little piece of the earth. It was hers. It may have been diminutive but to her it was everything. It was where she laid her head happily at night and knew she was safe and warm. It was where she hung her family pictures and set her pretty Hummels. It was the sacred little home she shared with her rescued tiny mutt. And that was all she needed to be happy. Good for her. And even better for me for reading about it.

You say it's your birthday?

Hey Pop Pop Ebs!

Hope you enjoy your day and do something fun! Look for a lil' something special from Zeke in your mailbox!

Happy birthday and many, many more!

Love from us-

Pauly, Nancy, and Zeke

Thankful.

It's Thanksgiving Day 2009. My house smells yummy and I'm getting ready to get the car packed with all my homemade treats and head up to my brother's house for the big feast. And so begins the holiday.

Today I awoke feeling older and wiser. I used to not really care about Thanksgiving. It was just that pain-in-the-butt day before Black Friday when I was in limbo waiting for all the big sales to start. But today...today is different. I feel...thankful. Yeah, I know, it's nothing too creative or earth shattering due to the fact that Facebook is CRAMMED with every one's reasons for being blessed and today is the "normal" day everyone stops to give thanks. But even if today weren't Thanksgiving I think I'd feel this way. You see, I watched this movie called Mammoth last night. And Mammoth changed me. It opened my eyes - even more - to the fact that I'm am so extremely lucky to be able to be home with Zeke as he grows up. I won't summarize the movie - go watch it if you have any interest because it really is moving and amazing. But I will say, that as a "stay-at-home-mom" (that title always cracks me up because as so many people know who try to call me and can never get me, I'M NEVER AT HOME!!!), the movie Mammoth sent my brain reeling into that mode of "Oh my God, thank God I'm here with my kid, walking through life with him, giving him everything he needs, and being his rock." At one time, many many centuries ago, I never thought I'd ever want a child. I thought that my life was great just working, having my pups, having lots of money and cool cars and going to dinners and movies and shopping and blah, blah, blah. Then Zeke came along. And my work seemed meaningless if someone else was raising him. So I quit. And we didn't have as much money, but we still felt rich. Even richer, actually, because we all smiled a whole lot more.

Fast forward four years. Yeah, if I had been working these past four years we may have lots more in savings, lots more in our retirement and tons more "stuff". But my child would also have been raised by a stranger. He wouldn't ask for me when he knocked his front tooth out or when he got road rash on his knees and elbows. I wouldn't have been there to see him write his name for the first time. I wouldn't have held his hand as we strolled through tons of museums and libraries and sat through movies together eating buttery popcorn. And I wouldn't have been the one to hug him tight when something thrilled him, scared him, chilled him or just simply moved him to say "I love you".

I'm thankful, eternally, to God, my husband, and to my Zeke for opening my eyes to Thanksgiving. It's real and it's powerful. And it's not all about the countdown to the big sales. Imagine that.

Lemonhead

Tomorrow Zeke and I have to take all three of the dogs to the vet. Two people, three canines...going to the vet. Doesn't sound like a recipe for goodness. Otto may already have an idea based on the fact that he's half human and probably peeked at the calendar hanging on my fridge. Timmy is clueless and won't realize what's going on until Dr. Jane sticks a needle the size of his leg into his back. And Simon? Let's just say that Sy won't go down without a fight (and a tiny little muzzle - get out the hair scrunchie).

On a brighter note: this evening I was finally able to pick my first lemon off of my Mother's Day Lemon Tree. I've been waiting for about 150 days (literally) to pick this lemon and I've never tasted something so sour but so sweet. That tree was given to me out of love, I've nurtured it and babied it since I saw it, and to see it so happy and so healthy makes me smile. It's tiny little things like a homegrown lemon that count people...really, they do.

Thieves like us.

Today's weather put me in such a good mood. It was sunny and 70 - the perfect day to get outside and rake some leaves, plant some ornamental cabbages, and tidy up the front of the house. My puppies and my boys were out there with me and the sun was shining down on us as if there wasn't a problem in the world. Sounds idyllic, huh? Well, don't be fooled. My bubble was burst a few nights ago and since then, I've been walking around with a big chip on my shoulder. Here's the deal: 8 years ago, Pauly and I moved to this neighborhood because we loved the fact that it was quiet and peaceful and that we had a really pretty horse farm backing up to our property. We fell in love with the land and the house and the views and decided we'd take a chance and make it ours. Well, on Friday night both of our vehicles were robbed. You see, it's sooooo quiet and peaceful around here, that we tend to leave our cars out of the garage, unlocked and sometimes even with the windows rolled down! It was always just "that type of neighborhood". Not anymore. Now it's one of "those types of neighborhoods". Ya' know...the type that has thieves walking around in them. How pathetic. How disgusting. And really, how life-changing. Now, it's really no big deal when I think about what they took: my iPod, my GPS, some gift cards, Pauly's laptop, etc. All of the items stolen can and will be replaced. What can't be replaced is that feeling of "wow, what a great place this is to live in". I no longer feel that way. Now I'm nervous. Now I'm checking and double-checking the doors at night. Now I'm parking in the garage. Now I'm leaving bright lights on outside and disturbing the nocturnal wildlife that used to hang around our property in the faint light of the moon. It's sad. And it's unnatural. We should all be able to co-exist and live peacefully - with each other and with the animals around us. But somewhere along the way it has gotten all muddled up. And in that muddled mess, fear has been bred. I just don't know how to explain to the next generation why we need to acknowledge that fear and slap locks on everything. Because really, I don't believe we should have to.

*sigh*

I'm a little irritated today. Irritated because some things just don't work out exactly the way I want them to all of the time. Today is one of those days. A day that gets under my skin, gnaws at my gut, and reminds me that I can't and won't ever be fully in control of everything. That...that little fact...really seems to put a damper on things. Today the fact that I have Lupus is bringing me down. And I've refused for many years to allow the "L" word to sink it's teeth into my psyche or my soul. But today is different because today I find it hard to hold a pen or even type this post. Today the Lupus is attacking the bones in my hands and well, it just really sucks. I've dropped so many things in the past 24 hours that I've stopped counting. I've winced in pain as I tried to grab the bag of groceries from the guy at Giant. And I've gulped down a ton of Motrin trying to forget that my hands are fighting a battle that is ongoing and downright irritating. But more than anything, I feel a little bit defeated when I get like this. Is this really how it's going to be? Am I going to allow something like Lupus control my destiny and my life? And more importantly, do I have a choice? I'm saying YES. Yes I have a choice and yes I'm going to be fine. Because that's the path I choose. The hand thing? This will pass. Just like the knee sitch passed a few weeks ago. And the neck sitch, and the hip sitch, and the eye sitch, etc., etc., etc. They all came and went and I was still left here..."just plain Nancy". The Lupus won't be a part of who I am...it'll just be a gnat flying around my head as I trek through life. But some days...gosh, some days that gnat just keeps buzzing a little too close to my ear.

Weenie meanies.

Wow. It's been a while since I've posted. Life moves fast when you're in the left lane, I suppose. In my mind, I try to stay in neutral..ya' know..look around, smell the roses, that sort of thing..but in reality I think I'm always zipping about trying to accomplish this, that, and the other thing. If I'm not actually doing something, I'm THINKING about what I'm GOING to be doing in the near future. But that's a story for a later date.

So, what's new news here, you ask? Halloween '09 happened. I found the actual Halloween night to be a MAJOR, COMPLETE, TOTAL bomb. Lucky for Zeke, he had about 3 or 4 other events before the 31st to celebrate and wear his costume. I, on the other hand, just didn't get my fill of the 'Weenie. To start off, it rained. Ok, I've trick-or-treated in the rain before and still scored tons of loot. Rain can be dealt with. But here's what made the night really lame: Zeke and I were the only people out on our street knocking on doors. One guy didn't even know why we were at his doorstep!!!! It was a very awkward moment - my kid and me standing there, hands out, smiling big, and this guy in his lounge wear looking at us with a puzzled stare. WHAT DID HE THINK "TRICK OR TREAT" MEANT????? OH MY GOD. By the time we got home, we were wet, sweaty (because it was a humid, muggy, rainy night and God knows we have to walk like 26 miles to get to 7 houses around here....SO not worth it) and in horrible moods. The one thing I knew would cheer both Zeke and me up was the dumping of the candy onto the kitchen table and the celebration of the score. So, we took off our wet gear, put away the flashlights, and ran for the kitchen with the goodie bag. Zeke dumped the HUMONGOUS bag onto the table as we all held our breath and.................................6 candy bars dropped out. 6. SIX. Six. SIIIIIXXXXX. And about 4 of them were tiny little bite sized bars. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. What was the point of this 'Weenie Mission? Why did we even trek all around our neighborhood, knocking on doors, making small talk, showing off the costume, etc., etc.??? I mean, I had an entire bowl of enormous Snickers bars sitting at the front door just waiting for some Michael Jackson Ghosts or Transformers to show up and hold out their goody bags! Couldn't I have simply filled Zeke's bag up with our own stash? The answer is simple: no. Halloween is about getting out there and visiting your neighbors. Not texting them, not emailing them, not phoning them, and not simply waving to them as you do 40 m.p.h. past their driveway in a rush to get to your next appointment. It's a time to pretend - a time for the kids to pretend they're someone or something else and for us parents to pretend we actually have the time to stand on each others' doorsteps and chat for a bit. And that's why next year, despite the 6 tiny little candy bars in Zeke's huge bag, we'll still be out there all alone in our neighborhood, knocking on doors and saying "Happy Halloween".

October List

Some things Zeke and I like at the moment:

1. fresh apples dipped in crunchy peanut butter
2. seeing Petey the neighbor horse at the corner everyday. He loves the fall weather - NO FLIES to bother him!
3. this new pink colored Dove soap that smells soooo yummy
4. staying up late when the Phillies are on...even though we're bandwagon fans.
5. our parakeet's obsession with our chihuahuas
6. my lemon tree. even though he's been moved indoors, he's thriving.
7. all of the awesome candy choices in the Halloweenie aisles!


Some things that really stink:

1. the H1N1 flu mania
2. the fact that it seems to rain every single weekend
3. the fact that the wind blows down our super-awesome spooky Halloween decorations outside
4. dry skin
5. everyone seems to be getting sick

And finally, one thing that strikes me as really odd:

1. Zeke continues to stand on his head. A lot. And everywhere. At home, at school, at the park, in the playground, even at the doctor's office. It's just strange. What's even stranger is the fact that I'm the one who ends up with the headache.

I think you've got something in your teeth. Oh, nevermind, it's just a swing.

Things must have been getting too quiet around here. Craziness came a knockin' on Thursday as I drove to pick up Zeke at school. My celly rang and it was his teacher informing me that there was an accident on the playground and Zeke's mouth intercepted a swing. He was crying and only wanted to talk to me about it. I was only 5 minutes away at that point, but factoring in the "mommy lead foot" effect, I made it to school before the song playing on my iPod was over. I ran in and grabbed my little guy while simultaneously doing a once over...ok, ok, all fingers, toes, limbs, eyes and head in place...but then I noticed all of the blood on his sweatshirt. In my world it was bad. I told the teachers I could handle it from there and whisked him away in my car. Now, as my good old friend Weezie will tell you, I am NOT GOOD in emergencies. I freeze up. I choke. I panic. As I drove with my injured kiddo in the back, I wondered silently...where am I going??? Hospital? To my mom's? To Pauly's office? To the park so I can pretend that none of this happened??? As it turned out, I drove home, pulled Zeke out of the car and surveyed the damages a bit more closely. No cuts on the face, no bruising. I lifted his top lip and OH MY GOD...THE GAPING BLOODY HOLE was staring at me. His inner, upper lip was completely torn up and his top front tooth was bloody. My heart stopped and my mind went blank. I handed Zeke his school bag and told him to go inside for a minute. He was still crying a little bit and simply asked me "but what about my bent tooth?" Ummmm, yeah, what about it, I wondered. I stared into my cell phone for a minute and realized I had to GET MY SHIZZLE TOGETHER. Like now. Then it happened. I snapped into full-scale trauma mode and went into overdrive. I ran in and started treating the cut lip and "bent tooth" with one hand and dialed the doctor and dentist with the other. The doctor told me the cut would heal on it's own - no matter how grotesque looking it was. We had to ride it out. The tooth was a different animal tho. The dentist told me to get to the office - STAT. Two x-rays later and it was revealed that Zeke's front tooth had been hit so hard that the roots were fractured up above the gum line. There is no treatment for this type of trauma other than tooth extraction. I left there with a copy of the x-rays, a script for an antibiotic, and a referral for the oral surgeon. The next day, 8 am sharp, we were in the oral surgeon's office awaiting the extraction. By 10:30, my little baby boy was out of surgery and minus a front tooth while I was PLUS a migraine the size of the Ukraine. It was time to go home, pull the blinds, and snuggle up for the day as we both recovered.

This saga has been nuts. It has given me a serious look at how a sick kid can devastate your soul and make you rethink all that is important in your world. Zeke's mouth is healing and his swollen lip is receding. Soon all he'll be left with is a gap in the front of his mouth that I'll somehow find super-cute. I'm just thankful that a toothless smile is the biggest problem this has led us to...for that, I'm eternally thankful. Well, that, and the fact that school pictures were taken on Monday - 3 days before that smile got ransacked...

Small time and liking it.

Today has me thinking. Like "deep thinking" thinking. It all started when Zeke attended a gymnastics class with his friend Kyle. Kyle's gym had "Bring a Friend Day" and Zeke was invited to check it out with Kyle. Zeke was nervous at first and even shed a few tears when he realized I wouldn't be in the gym with him, but after he saw how much fun it was, he warmed right up to it. After the class was over, his teacher raved on and on to me about Zeke's athletic skills and how he could quite possibly hang with the older kids in the 6 to 10 year-olds. Now, I know she meant this as a complement, but it just spoke volumes to me about life in general. Everyone is in a rush. A rush to get somewhere, a rush to get ahead, a rush to MAKE IT. And here it is, starting in a preschooler's gymnastics class! Zeke wasn't bored in the 3 & 4 year-old class. He was smiling and running and generally having a great time. He never once said to me that he'd like to move on to something more difficult or challenging or older. In fact, he seemed to actually enjoy just PLAYING...with no huge competition. Just innocent play. It made me think about all the pressure that will be resting on my boy's shoulders someday. And it made me realize that that pressure isn't going to start now in a gymnastics class. For now, he's going to run around with 3 and 4 year-olds. And he's not going to have to excel physically or athletically to impress me. And most of all, he's going to laugh like he means it.

Retro wheels.

It seems that I've caused quite a stir for replacing my old car with the SAME EXACT make, model, and color car. I'm a little surprised and flattered by this. I didn't know people cared so much about what I drove. Here's the deal: I searched around for about 3 months for the perfect car for my needs. I drove a few, scouted out a few, and googled a few. Nothing seemed to fit. Some were too big, some were too small, and some were just plain too fancy. Pauly doesn't do fancy. Nancy does fancy. But Pauly reigns me in. Soooo sad. But, he's right...it's crazy to spend $60K on a CAR. So, after some thought, I realized...I like what I have but I just needed it updated. So that's what we did. The dealer added in a few extra bells & whistles and poof! I have my "old" car sitting in my driveway...but it's new. And I'm ok with that.

Brusied and contused.

'Tis the season for fall festivals. This past weekend we went to one in the Chester County area and Zeke had a ball. I enjoyed it aside from the fact that I twisted my ankle about (literally) 6 times. Have any of you guys seen those green tennis-ball looking thingy-things on the ground around here? They're everywhere. Pick 'em up and smell them and they're a lemon/Mr. Clean hybrid. I think it's actually possible to score a cheap high on the scent. I digress. So these tennis-ball thingy-things are ankle crackers. Especially with improper footwear on. Which is typically the case in my world. But, bruised ankles aside, Zeke had fun and our calendar is jam-packed with fall festivals galore. I'll be sure to revise my footwear sitch.

Bliss.

Pauly and I are back from Watch Hill, RI. This marks the first time that we left Zeke and took a trip alone since he was born. Crazy stuff. Although this was a business trip for Pauly, he wanted me to come along since there were a few dinners and luncheons where spouses were welcome. It was nice to get away and feel like an adult again, but my oh my did I miss my Zekey-pants. Watch Hill was beautiful. It's a beach town with tons of character and beautiful homes to match. While the guys were in meetings, the girls took tours, went sightseeing, and visited nearby Mystic, CT. Give me a few weeks of mommyville again and I'll be ready to go back.

Egg on his face (windshield).

It's a gorgeous fall-y September morning. I woke up early, showered, dressed and woke up the boys to get a start to the day. I wanted to go out to Wegman's to stock the pantry for Mom Mom Cookie's arrival this weekend so that she and Zeke could have some fun eating snacks and catching up. As we drove out of our neighborhood, what did I see??? THE PRIVATE PROPERTY PIRATE. Maybe you remember, maybe you don't..but about this time last year a big, fat, mulleted, camouflaged, UFC-watching, cheap beer drinking, poop-toothed a-hole decided it was going to be ok to hunt for deer in the woods in my 'hood. I had words with him regarding this sitch and told him it was against the law to hunt private property and more importantly, so close to, ummmm, PEOPLE....and the mud muncher told me that he "was the law" so he wasn't worried about it. That was the point in the conversation that I explained to him my feelings on his hunting habit (i.e. that it was a shame he was scraping the barrel so lowly that he had to shoot Bambi for his din-din instead of hitting up the Genuardi's produce aisle. In fact I think I told him that the Florida grapefruits were 3 for a $1 that week and he should look into loading up on his fruit and veggie intake instead of his current protein overload. I noted his heavily expanded waistline and double chin as proof...). Buuuuut, much to my dismay, he's back and creeping again in the woods. Looks like I need to buy myself a dozen eggs and teach him a lesson or two...or twelve.

Post Game Wrap Up

Week One of preschool is over. It went smashingly well to my supergigantichugelyenormous surprise. I fully expected nuclear meltdown in the carline when we pulled up to do the day one drop off. You see, in Zeke's school, we do drop off and pick up the good 'ol American way - drive thru style. It's a very sweeeeeeeeeet method - I get to stay in the car while the teacher comes out and does the dirty work of prying Zeke out of his cartoon-and-cereal-bubble into the real world of A-B-C's and 1-2-3's. I went through a few periods last year when Zeke threw the backpack aside, attached himself to my car's headrest, and held on for dear life rather than be yanked into the "real world". Oh, and I should say thanks to Teacher Mary for doing a bang-up job of prying his strong-as-stainless-steel fingertips out of my car leather each and every time during those rough periods and finally getting him into the classroom kicking and screaming. Seems that once she got him in there, he really did enjoy himself after all. But for this week, at least, the removal tactics have not yet had to be deployed. All systems were a go and Zeke's new teacher - Teacher Joyce - seems to have gotten him on her side early in the game. Let's just see if she has the all the right moves to keep him there.

Ring the bell.

This sums up Zeke's attitude about ending his summer vacation and beginning preschool today.

45 pounds of liver.

Zeke starts his second year of preschool tomorrow. Well, he doesn't technically "start"...he goes in for an hour while I go to the school meetinghouse and talk parent business. But still. He's out of my sight. Out of my control. Out of my life. For an hour. Might not sound long to you, but to me? It's VERY VERY long. You see, I grew a second liver when I had a baby. Or a third kidney. However you want to put it. All I know is an extra appendage/organ grew. And grew and grew and grew. And now every day it seems to get bigger and heavier and tougher to manage. I have to decide if it's ok for it to go certain places, for certain people to influence it, for it to be exposed to certain television/radio shows. I have to make sure this appendage doesn't get hurt or too tired or too hungry or too thirsty. This appendage is, well...special to me. For some reason, for the past four years and some odd months, my body hasn't been able to function without it. Strange what those little appendages do to you, huh?

'Doing it up.

It's a shame for Mary. Mary is the sweet, very patient woman that cuts Zeke's hair. Today, Mary earned every dollar I paid her. You see, I haven't taken Zeke for a haircut all summer. He's been rocking the buzz cut for a while and I can just clip that easily enough at home. So, it was bye-bye Mary for a while there. And I could tell that a problem was brewing early this morning when Zeke bristled at the fact that he was to going to get reacquainted with Mary later on in the afternoon. My plan of action was to tire him out at the park, feed him, then let Mary attack with the clippers. Zeke had other plans. When we arrived at the salon the meltdown commenced. There were tears, screams, fists flying, feet stomping, frowns and shouts everywhere. I had to pick him up and place him on the seat. Not too cool. He finally settled in for the cut and I thought had taken on a better attitude about the whole sitch since Mary hooked him up with two lollipops. Not true, unfortunately. After Mary brushed him off and told him what a good boy he ended up being, she instructed him to trot over to the mirror to check out his new 'do. Zeke did. When he saw his haircut, he pulled his lollipop out of his mouth long enough to announce to the entire salon that he looked like a "goofball". What a jerk.

Rant.

There are going to be people who read this post and roll their eyes, sigh, and shake their heads. And really, I don't think that's ok. Because what I'm going to write about is life. And the reverence for it. Now, brace yourself, because the "V word" is about to be mentioned yet again. Vick, that is. As in, Michael Vick, the shithead football player that the Crapadelphia Eagles just signed not so long ago. The Vick topic was once again mentioned on Facebook and it started my animal rights wheels turning. The author of the topic stated his opinion that in no way was an animal's life as important as a human being's. The hairs on the back of my neck stood WAY up as I read that. I steadied my emotions, cooled the steam in my head, and tried to reason with myself. How could it be possible that I equate an animal life to a human life? How do they compare? And here's what I came up with: I can't reason it. I can't judge it. If I didn't create either completely amazing entity, then how can I place value on them? Sure, to us as humans, our "baby humans" are worth their weight in gold. But what about a baby cow, horse, or duck? How do we know that the proud parents of those sweeties don't feel the same? Because they lack the verbal skills to communicate it? Because they can't write it down in a letter? What a sad and ignorant people are we if we lack the judgment and heart to realize that the animal kingdom is not our creation. It's simply a gift on loan for us to admire and yes, sometimes love. Only the creator of all of us, including the animals, is in a position to deem one more worthy of life than the other. Until then, we should live together, respecting each other's place on this earth.

And you know you don't want to be on that second list.

Some funny things at the moment:

1. my parakeets have been loose and on the run (around the upstairs of my house) for 48 hours. They go back to their cage at night but as soon as the sun rises, they're in flight mode. And yes, I've been finding myself vacuuming and wiping up bird doodie. I feel it's a small price to pay for the jungle-like atmosphere they're providing. I love those little birdies.

2. I found one of the little parakeets perched on Timmy's (my sweet chihuahua) tail earlier today while Timmy was asleep in his doggie bed.

3. Zeke and the Under Armour sitch. He thinks he's the bee's knees in his Under Armour. It's pretty hilarious/ridiculous. Must post picture soon.

4. I had a random snapshot of Zeke sitting on my dresser the other day. I had put it aside to slip into a scrapbook. I found it today, on the floor of the hallway, with the name "Zeke" scrawled across the back in a 4-year-old's handwriting. I asked Zeke if he wrote his name on the back and why, and he said it was so that I'd always remember who it was in the picture. Like I'd ever forget.

5. An older woman in front of me at Rite Aid was picking up about 9 prescriptions today along with asking the pharmacist to "sort out her pill bottle". Ummmmm, the pill bottle contained about 4,936 pills in every color of the rainbow. What the????? She then proceeded to tell the pharmacist that her head hasn't been the same since she "ran her car into that tree..." OMG. Buckle up for safety, people.


And of course, a few things that are currently on my nerves:

1. my rental car. I want my own car back.

2. my hair. I need Dawn to work her magic.

3. the fact that it's about that time when all of my dentist/doctor appointments come due. DOOOOOOOOOOOOD, that's total B.S.

4. I need a pedicure but I'm afraid of dirty nail salons. I don't like someone else peeling skin off of me and the smell of those places sends me into the Migraine Hall of Fame.

5. School starts soon and that means that Zeke will be gone 4 days a week. Ok, it's only 2.5 hours a day, but still....4 days a week is A LOT!!!! 3 days a week was fine last year. Why did he have to get a year older????? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Good TImes.

August is flying on by at warp speed. I know this because my birthday is right around the corner. I say this with gleeeeeeeeeeeeee in my heart knowing that Pauly and Zeke will make my day special in their own funny ways. Pauly, if you're reading this, I'll forward you some links for gift ideas...we all know how brutal your jewelry taste can be. Think red necklace Pauly, red necklace. Anyway, Zeke and I have been enjoying this final spurt of summer to it's fullest and here's what we've been doing (in as few words as possible):

we've seen a travelling petting zoo, cat sat for a few weeks and fell in love with her (the cat), went to see Blue's Clues Live! and met the "real" Steve (I like Joe better), played on the beach and witnessed a beach wedding, explored the Delaware Museum of Natural History with friends, we camped with Mom Mom Mare and Poppy, we went to the library and finally confessed to losing Percy and the Pirates (only cost $8.95, oh well), ate a lot of fresh corn on the cob from Wynoor Farms, hid Otto in 4,951 of Zeke's stuffed animal friends, went to Dutch Wonderland and it was clean, went to Sesame Place and it was dirty, saw the Chik-Fil-A cow and realized most of our table was eating McDonald's food, we had an afternoon pizza date - just the 2 of us, we Chuck E. Cheesed with Brandon, took pony rides, nursed Pauly through an infected spider bite that required antibiotics, played on the Sporty Squiggles Sports Team, celebrated many birthdays (happy b-day Rocco, Tristan, Lukey, and Meadow!), took swim lessons with Corey, fed the geese down the street, pampered the horsies on the corner with apple and peppermint snacks, ate unbelievable pizza at Tacconelli's with the Duffs (had such a good time - love them!), saw a Blue Heron at the pond down the street, bat watched, helped Tommy and Sue move into their beautiful new home (or rather helped them break in the new pool!), and finally, we had a slumber party at the Hampton Inn in Bethlehem with Mom Mom Mare and Poppy.

It's been a full month or two. And I've loved spending it with my favorite kid in the world...

Loser.

I'm at a loss right now. An absolute loss. I just heard on the t.v. that Michael Vick has been signed to the Philadelphia Eagles. People, don't even mess with me on this one. Don't argue the point, don't give me opposing points of view...just go with me. I am ADAMANT that this man be banned from being allowed to PLAY any sport let alone be paid tons of money to do so. I can't even begin to tell anyone how deeply I'm hurt with this decision. Doesn't anyone have any respect for the animals on this earth anymore? Surely there must be someone, just one person out there, who understands. Michael Vick doesn't deserve another dime. Nothing. But...he will be getting millions. To play football. Again. After he tortured and killed dogs. Nice. Really gives me lots of faith in the human race...

Crumpled

So it's been not-so-fab around here. And here's why: on Saturday we were in a car accident. Thankfully, all three of us were fine, but it was waaaaaay scary. Oh, and my car? Not good. It has $6K worth of damage and won't be out of the shop for weeks. I'm sad and depressed that I'm now driving around in a disgusting rental car. The thing that's making me more sad is the fact that Zeke is a paranoid back-seat driver now. He seems to be afraid that we're going to get in another accident. It's not good. I guess it'll pass but I just wish he didn't have to experience the terror that comes along with a pretty significant car accident at such a young age.

Besides the accident, another thing weighing on me is the imposing fear that summer is coming to an end. I feel it. I sense it. I see it on t.v. with all of the back-to-school ads. Most of all, I know it's coming because my birthday will be here soon (wooooohoooo!). As soon as my birthday ends, summer ends. Sad. I'm hoping that my attitude will change, as it does most years, and I'll get excited for fall...but so far I'm not feeling it. One bright note: I checked out Missy's blog and it pumped me up for some fall fashion. Thanks Missy - and I LOVE the Equestrian Frye Boots!!!

sigh, headshake, eyes-r-rolling...

Way too much sports-related stuff going on in my life at the moment. Phillies, rumblings of the Eagles, and just to ramp it up a bit....4 nights a week of pee wee football. Can't...go....into...full...story....yet. I'm just now understanding that summer may be coming to an abrupt end before I've really gotten my toes wet yet.

The Quest(ion)

We thought we had a good idea to take off on Saturday and head for the beach. "Just do a quickie day trip" Pauly and I said to each other. After all, that's one of the perks of living so close to the sea, huh? Sadly, everyone else had the same idea. A car ride that should have taken an hour and 45 minutes was painfully stretched into almost 5 hours because of traffic. To be fair, I must disclose that 2 potty breaks were inserted into that 5 hours, but c'mon...5 HOURS????? Brutal. Honestly, I think I would have rather a re-do of the Sesame Place Massacre that was put upon me last weekend (long story, but let me just say that S.P. is horrific and I'll never go back: dirty, crowded, smelly...need I say more?). I CAN say that once we planted ourselves on the beach, it was nice. But even then, I felt like I was smothered by tons of other sea-worshippers. I'm not sure anymore of what exactly is relaxing. It's a constant quest...something of a mystery now that Pauly is uber-connected to work both physically (via Crackberry & computer) and mentally. Running miles and miles away from home to supposedly "get away from it all" didn't quite work out this weekend. And now that I think about it, why did we run? We should have stopped to smell the flowers right here in our own gorgeous backyard. Note to self: slow down and slow Pauly down. Every weekend doesn't need to be action packed to the hilt. Sometimes just sitting on the deck, hearing the horses and sipping some tea is the best way to escape it all. How 'bout that?

Pass the kleenex.

Time to jot this one down in the baby book: Zeke doesn't call me "mommy" anymore. It's strictly "mom". I find it uncomfortable and way too grown up sounding. I've gotta go...I can't type through the tears.

I want my baby back.

And I finally got it. My computer, that is. It's been sick, lazy, and completely hung up for the past few weeks so I bit the bullet and parted ways with it a few days ago to let a technogeek tune it up. But, alas, it's back...and I'm feeling much more connected to the world now. I felt horrible ignoring this site, leaving it withering on the vine. And I know all four of the people who read this spectacular slice of literary genius have missed it terribly. Not to worry though...I'm up and running and as you'll see, life has kept on keeping on while I was away. Check out our pix to the right - we've had a fun few weeks.

As I part for the day, here are a few shouts:

1. Good luck Tommy & Susan. 2 weeks will fly by and before you know it you'll be pool partying!

2. Thanks Mom and Dad for letting us bunk out with you last week. Zeke loved the camping experience and is now addicted to roasting marshmallows.

3. GWBD Pauly. Very important to remember. And, as always, you rock. We love you.

4. Christopher: where are you? Call your sister.

5. Oh, and we are kitty cat-sitting for a few weeks for Daisy the cat. I'm not sure we'll want to give her back after 2 weeks...she's a sweetie. So, shouts to you Daisy. Welcome to our cribby.

My life in pictures.

Where have I been, you ask? Around. It's strange because I look at my calendar sitting here on my desk and I don't really have much written on it. A week-long camp for Zeke here, another one there. But nothing too major. For some reason tho, I'm finding it difficult to fit my blog into my days. It's important to me tho. Important to keep my peeps in the loop of my life and important so that I can look back and simply remember all the times I've spent with my boys. So, here it is. My past week in pictures over there to the right. Enjoy. I know I have. And that's what summer is all about.

Baby bird.

There are times that having a child tests my patience to the extreme. And I do mean the extreme. Like, I imagine picking him up, throwing him over my deck and across my back lawn...but then I gather my wits a moment or two later, remembering that, after all, that's why law enforcement was invented. Conversely, there are times like today that I realize there is no bond and no love stronger than that of a child and his parent. You see, I've been putting off going to get some blood drawn for WEEEEKS now...it's way, way overdue. Maybe even 2 months. I've just ignored it and put tons of other things before it so that I didn't have to deal. I detest dealing with medical issues. But today was the day that I knew I had to go, get the blood work done, and simply move on. So, after Zeke and I met Mom Mom Mare for lunch and did some Target damage, I told him the plan for me to get my blood work completed. I thought he was fine with it, but about 2 minutes later I heard him burst into tears. I asked him why he was crying and he told me he didn't want me to get hurt. It was then that I realized how much this little 45 pounder loved me. I'm his world, his lifeline. Now, I know at some point he'll fly from the nest. I'm just happy that for now, this little nest is so important to him.

Celebrate that, MJ.

Warning to all of you Michael Jackson lovers: this isn't MJ friendly territory. Stop reading if you will be offended.

Ok, here we go. Today I went to clean up the doggies' newspapers. You see, my pups are all paper trained to go to the potty on newspapers if they're not outside. It's nice and easy, especially since they're all tiny little guys. Well, today when I went in to clean up the used papers, I felt a wave of justice run through me. On one of the used newspapers on the floor, there was a picture of MJ standing on top of a car with his arms up above his head in jubilation. He was celebrating the fact that he was "cleared" of child molestation charges a few years back. Now, we all know in the backs of our minds that MJ was more than a bit "strange" when it came to little kids. In my opinion, it's unforgivable. My sweet revenge this morning??? Apparently one of my chi-chi's agrees with me because when he had to do poopie, he aimed it directly onto MJ's head. Thanks puppy dog!

Homefront.

It's been a while, huh? I received a text today from Piggy (Chris, my brother) informing me that my blog was stale and boring and needed updating ASAP. Well, at least someone is reading. I'll take it as a complement.

We are officially done all of our travels for a while now. We did Disney, then England, and just arrived home from Arizona this past weekend. I'm tired. Tired of packing, unpacking, flying, etc., etc. It was fun and we made some awesome memories, but it'll be nice to be on the home front for an "extended stay" (like that, Jaime??). So, check out the Arizona slide show and stay tuned for future updates...there's always something going on around here. And hey Piggy...thanks for reading.

P.S. out to my mom and dad: thanks so much for keeping my pups alive while I was gone. I think they would have packed their bones and left me if you guys hadn't stepped in and cared for them these past few times I've been away. The King is thankful and so are we - you guys rock!

Get down with the science.

Zeke has been at Science Camp all this week. I've been living vicariously through him. I know, I know, I'm setting him up for a few decades of "the couch" (a.k.a. psychological counseling) but, it's just so darn cool! They've been doing some sweeeeeeeeeeeeet stuff in that camp!!! Today, I was spying from the window in the classroom and they were dissecting the stomach contents of an owl!!! In case you didn't know (and I didn't until Zeke told me), an owl eats birds, so they were finding all types of bird bones and bird skulls in there! As they found the bones, they matched them up to a diagram to determine which bird bone they had uncovered! And these kids are 4 and 5 years old! Very cool stuff in a very easygoing and fun environment. So, hats off to Teacher Doreen. She has managed to keep 5 boys, aged 4 and 5 years, interested and behaved for four straight days so far. Ummm, I wonder if she does weekends...

This just in...

The big news of the weekend: Zeke can ride a two-wheeler. Yep. It happened. My baby boy wanted his training wheels off and was ready for the big leagues. So, we took off the extra appendages on Friday, he jumped on the tiny Trek, and away he went. It wasn't 100% smooth, there was slight road rash involved, but I'm sad to say that the training wheels are now stuck in a box on the shelf in the garage. *sigh* Just one more stage telling me that he's growing up and moving on...

That's goodness.

Random thoughts about some things I like at the moment:

1. the very awesome tea I brought home from England. The teabags make great hot and iced tea. Yum yum. I'm trying very hard to save some for Pop Pop Ebs - he's a tea drinker too. I think he'll appreciate the deliciousness.

2. the fact that the nights are warmer and brighter. I just love going hiking at night in the Preserve or in the State Park and not needing a sweatshirt or parka. Love this time of year!

3. the chihuahua I saw at the pet shop today. He was stunning and sweet and so cuddly. Two reasons he's still at the pet store: A. Pauly and B. I'd rather adopt than buy.

4. the fact that my Dad has me completely obsessed with the stock market and the stock I just bought. Who knew it could be so fun?

5. Petey the horse on our corner is out in the pasture ALL the time now. And he kisses me on the lips now. I think we're officially past dating and now "going steady." Sorry Pauly.

Horses, my rosegarden, good purses, my "circle"...all the good things in life.

Weekend is over in a flash. I feel jipped because Saturday didn't turn out as sunny as promised by el lamo weatherpeople. We solved that issue by going to the movies to see "Up." Very cute movie and it had a sweet storyline. I actually had tears in my eyes a few times. It had me thinking about life and all the little things I do each day that make me genuinely happy. Think about it...when you're gone from this life, what will people say you enjoyed? Will they even know? If not, figure it out and start doing it. You're not getting any younger, my friends. Sorry to sh** on your Sunday, but it's true. I'm mentally pledging to myself to learn more, do more, and be more passionate about my interests. When I go from this world, people are gonna' talk. And it's not just gonna' be about how many purses they have to clean out of my spare bedroom...

Sandbox shennanigans.

Zeke had soccer today. His soccer class is held on the field at one of our favorite parks, so we decided to pack a lunch and stay afterwards for a little extra fun. We met a few friends and hung out for a bit. As my friends and I were getting lunch ready, there was a pretty large group of boys digging a very, very big hole in the sandbox. We thought absolutely nothing of the very, very big hole. As long as no one was arguing, hitting, spitting, or kicking and as long as no one was going head-first into the hole...no problemo. That was our big mistake. If something is interesting to a group of 4 year old boys for an over-extended period of time, it should raise a bright red flag. Today, for some reason, it didn't. And that's where the shoe trouble enters. As it turns out, the 4 year old boys were burying something. Something that wasn't theirs. Something that wasn't supposed to be buried...very deep...in a big hole...in the huge sandbox. They buried Gracie's shoe. Her tiny pink Croc. And when we finally discovered that Gracie's Croc was missing, there was absolutely NO sign of a hole ever existing in the sandbox. That is how amazingly well these 4 year old savages cleaned up their mess (for the first time in their small lives). So, the next 30 minutes were spent by 3 adult women and a few tiny little girls digging and shoveling on hands and knees in the very big, very deep, and very gross sandbox until finally the tiny pink Croc was found. When asked why the Croc was buried, Zeke only replied "because it was treasure."

Argh.

No habla manual labor.

It's unbelievably nice out today. 80's and sunny and breezy. What did we have to do in all of this great weather? Paint our back deck. Somehow, I got roped into helping with this "outdoor" job. I don't see the fairness. My mental division of labor goes something like this: anything inside the house that doesn't involve complete disgustingness, I'll do. Anything outside of the sticks and bricks, Pauly does. So why was I on the end of a paintbrush all afternoon? ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PAINTING THE SKINNY LITTLE SLATS IN BETWEEN THE DECK . And if any of you reading this are married, you will understand this...arguing with Pauly ALL afternoon about how all of this manual labor should be done. Ew. Not a good day.

Mortality strike.

Today we buried my grandmom. Well, my brothers and I called her "Nanny". Of course it was sad and emotional and all that goes with a funeral, but I think what hit me most was the fact that I could actually see my immediate family aging before my very eyes. I'm getting older, my brothers are getting older, and my parents are getting older. It freaks me out. I officially have no grandparents now. Strange. It's a sense of loss and empty that's in my heart today but also a sense of appreciation for the fact that I realize that importance of my "circle". My family is important to me. And on days like today, days that we lose and bury someone, it's good to stand next to them and know that I can lean on them.

England scoop.

We're back. From England, that is. It was a great place to visit and get to know, but of course I have tons of opinions I need to share with you all. So here we go:

1. Not all British people have jacked-up teeth. It was the first thing I investigated, beeeeelieve me. In fact, it seems they have pretty good dental plans over there and that most of them are indeed flossing.

2. I'm not sure why, but England has a very poor potty situation going on. In many ways. Here's the sitch: if/when you DO have to go, finding a potty is tough. They hide their potties very well. It's almost as if they're embarrassed at the thought of peeing/pooping. I wanted to wear a button that said "Even the Queen poops." But, for me, nope, not enough potties for my general comfort. I mean, I drink tons of water. Tons of water = many trips to the loo. Supply me with facilities puuuleeeze. Then, once you do finally find the coveted "toilets" as they call them, it's an adventure. Now, first let me start with a complement. I love their potty doors. They go all the way to the floor. That's where the U.S. has a major breakdown in potty policy. I don't like the fact that in a public restroom, the door only comes down to about 18" above the floor. Why can't it be a full-sized door??? The U.K. got this part of the "toileting" right. But it stops there. Once you do your business, the U.K. wants to really, really jip you on the t.p. (toilet paper, that is). The dispenser gives it to you in SINGLE SHEETS!! What's that all about??? It takes a good 3 to 4 minutes just to get a sufficient amount of t.p. in hand! Then when you try to flush your "stuff".....OMG. Their plumbing is ridiculous. There's no water pressure, no heavy flush, nothing. A small trickle of water comes down...if you're lucky. So what's that mean to the potty-goer? It means you get the former potty-goer's leftovers, that's what!!!! Not nice. So here's my thing: I need more potties, more paper, and more flush please. Just more of everything....except for my neighbor's leftovers. Less of that and more of the aforementioned and the potty sitch will be golden.

3. You know I've got to talk about the driving dealio. Why drive on the left side? As far as my research tells me, the U.K. is by far in the minority by choosing to drive on the left. And they're so uppity about it. Anytime someone would ask me how I was managing with my driving, if I'd dare say I was having difficulty getting used to driving on the wrong side of the road, those crazy Brits would give me a lathering. Whatevs, I left my mark on a few curbs and our rental car (I simply couldn't judge the left side and curb-surfed way too much for Pauly's liking).

4. That English tea. Yum. Double yum. Now anyone who hangs with me regularly knows that I love tea. Need tea to survive. Hot tea, cold tea. Just tea. I don't do coffee so tea is my caffeine hit to get me through the day. But, wow. The tea I had while in England???? It was like no other tea I've had. I brought 2 boxes home but I already fear the end of those teabags!!! So, yes, I love their tea habits and the respect they give tea. They do tea properly - with little cakes and lots of sugar. Mmmmmmmm. Now how do I get a steady IV drip of their tea going through my veins???

5. Their weather. Let's just say I didn't worry about getting a sunburn. And I'm always the one voted "Most Likely to Look Like the Lobster" whenever the sun is shining anywhere. There was not a good hair day in sight for the entire 7 days I was there. I have no idea how anyone ever looks good in England.

6. The food. Oh, the food. Was it really food? Or was it just white bread and mayonnaise? And little disgusting sausages and brown lumpy gravy? Holy crap...I couldn't eat a thing besides Corn Flakes with whole milk that I diluted with water. It was a really bad food sitch for poor lil' me. England doesn't like semi-vegetarians. At all. In fact, they throw bangers and mash at them and laugh while doing so...


I guess I could tell you more, but I don't want you to think that I disliked my trip. It was fun and new and exciting even though some things were scary and uncomfortable. It would have been more fun if Pauly wasn't working so much, but hey, that's why we were there in the first place. Zeke and I were our own little tourguides and discovered tons of things together. Over "dinner", we'd tell Pauly all about our day and what we had found. One thing I noticed that was enlightening: a 4-year-old is a wonderful travel companion. And even better, it was awesome to introduce him to a totally different country. He definitely noticed that things were different in the U.K., but assimiliated to the changes pretty quickly. He knew to ask for 20 pence for the gumball machines, remembered that the Eye of London was a major ferris-wheel type of landmark in London, and even made a little British friend while playing in a playground one afternoon. Even though she told him he talked funny, they seemed to get along fine and played for a while before saying goodbye. As they were leaving, little Layla told him to "have fun in America." Zeke told her bye and that "he liked her country." That made the trip completely worthwhile to me.

Am I reading her the wrong way???

Is it illegal or, well, just impolite to borrow a lot of books from the library? I mean, I really want to know what the protocol is on this particular matter. Because I seem to be having an issue with my local librarian. Here's the deal: each time we go to the library (which is about once every 10 days or so), we rent at least 10 or 15 books and magazines. Today, I ran over to the library by myself while my mom watched Zeke so that I could return some things and borrow a stack of magazines for a long plane trip we're about to take. Well, as I set the large stack on the counter and said "hi!", Ms. Mean Librarian Lady sighed and scanned my library card - WHICH DIDN'T CONTAIN ANY OVERDUE FEES!!!! She acted as if I were taking her own private stash of reading material from her own home! Is it not my tax dollars that pay for my local library services??? Am I not entitled to borrow as many books as I'd like??? Is there a law on the "books" about some type of limit that I'm not aware of??? Fill me in if you know something I don't. Because as for me, I'm gettin' the vibe that Ms. Mean Librarian Lady is p.o.'d that I have the April edition of Martha Stewart Living on loan. Whatevs.

It's my day....yeah.

Today is Mother's Day 2009. It's been a great day...thanks to Pauly and Zeke. I thought this weekend was going to be one of those weekends where I hit the ground running and never stopped until Sunday night, but thankfully it wasn't. Plans changed and I was able to take advantage of the unbelievable weather today and do something with my boys that I really, really enjoyed. We FINALLY attended the Willowdale Steeplechase. But before that, my day started out on a sour note - literally. Ya' see, recently I've been obsessed with fruit trees. I saw a few in my travels here and there, and I've just really had the urge to try to grow my own fruit. Specifically lemons. I love lemons and lemonade and would love to have fresh lemons growing on my own property. Well, this morning, Pauly surprised me with a gorgeous 5 foot tall lemon tree. Beautiful. I'm excited to nurture the tree until I can pick my first lemon and squeeze it into a tall glass of ice water!

After my lemon tree surprise, we got dressed and met Pauly's family at the King Street Grille in Malvern for breakfast. If you've never been to King Street...my oh my, you must go. And get the Blueberry Muffin French Toast. You'll never be the same. It's heaven on earth. If you go, tell Randy the chef that Pauly sent you - he'll get a chuckle out of that.

After our breakfast (which actually turned into lunch!), we headed straight for the Steeplechase. This was the highlight of my day along with my lemon tree. I guess I'm a simple girl if a few lemons and some racehorses make me see stars, huh??? But really, I couldn't have asked for a better day. The fact that we had time to see the horses racing around the Willowdale grounds made my weekend amazing. Hearing the pounding of the hooves, seeing the jockeys working the horses...it was all so great. The only thing that made it better was the fact that I had my boys with me and the weather was gorgeous.

Thanks guys for a great Mother's Day. And thanks Zeke for the super secret Mother's Day party at school on Friday. Although you're getting to be such a big boy, I think I'll always remember you like this:

You'll always be my little baby boy... happy, funny, smart, and the life of the party. Happy Mother's Day to me. Lucky, lucky me.

A special P.S. out to my mom: I'm not sure how you've done it all these years, but you've managed to keep me in line with all my dramas, plans, successes and failures. Thanks for always listening to the 9:00 a.m. rants and for the Thursday adventures. You're an awesome mama! Happy Mother's Day, Ter Ter!

Potty like a rockstar.

Plumbing. Even the word sounds gross. PLUMB-ing. Plumb. Like, who wants to plumb something? Ew. So, anyway, our upstairs plumbing in our master bath has "crapped the bed" as my brother Chris likes to put it so very eloquently. No more Band-Aids, no more quick fixes...it's time to do a complete overhaul and rip the entire bathroom out and start from scratch.

Ok, folks....cue the music: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I have lived with this ridiculous powder blue nightmare for seven years. Seven. Count 'em. Seven. Oh my God. I tried paint. I thought of papering. I thought I'd "play up" the baby blue and accent it with artwork at one point. Holy s...., it wasn't happening. I gave up and just simply showered and well, ya' know, in the blue-ness. Eventually, I stopped looking at it and just did my "business". But today? Today I have OPTIONS!!!!!! It's a new day, people. And I'm thinking of tile, shower stalls, sinks, and yep, even toilets!!!! Who knew a toilet would be so darn awesome (other than when you realllllly have to go). So I leave you on this Mother's Day Eve with stars in my eyes and potties in my dreams. Bye, bye ol' blue. I'm heading for better things now.